I have been in an LDR on and off for over one and a half years now, and still have another year and a half to go! My partner and I are both studying and have to move around for work. We have managed to make it this far which means we must be doing something right. Here are my tips on how to succeed at long distance and MAKE IT WORK!
- Communication is key – Set a regular pattern to have phone calls or video chats, and try to have a conversation at least once a day. It can be hard when you have opposite schedules, meaning you don’t often have free time at the same time. But regular communication is important to keep up to date with each others lives and how each other are feeling.
- Send each other surprise packages in the post – This is one of my favourite things to do. I love thinking up cute things to do for my boyfriend, or things I can send him that make him happy. It’s nice to receive surprises as well, such as flowers, boyfriends shirt with their cologne on it, a list of date ideas for your next visit, your favourite food or gas vouchers for the next visit. For more ideas, check out my post ‘Surprises You Can Plan For Your Partner During Long Distance’.
- Trust – If you constantly go to bed worrying if your partner is chatting up other people, or if they are being loyal to you, it puts so much extra stress on your plate, and may cause you to come across as annoying if you are constantly asking what they are doing to ‘check up’ on them. If you have regular communication, you have more reason to trust them obviously because you are keeping in touch. You partner also has to give you a reason to trust them through their actions. If they do anything dodgy like don’t talk to you for days on purpose, or ignore you if they go out to a nightclub, then maybe you have something to worry about that needs to be sorted out.
- Set dates to visit and put it into a countdown calendar app – It makes it easier to say goodbye, if you have an idea of when the next visit will be. By putting it into a countdown app, you will visually be able to see the next visit getting closer and closer and the time will fly by.
- Establish a visiting pattern – You will have to work around each others schedules, which can be hard if you do shift work. If you both work a 9-5 job, you are lucky that you have weekends free. Money is also a factor to consider, because it can be expensive buying petrol for your car, or flights to visit each other on a regular basis. Me and my partner have established once every 3 weeks is ideal. Every two weeks would be too expensive, or every month is a bit too long to go without seeing each other, but we can make it longer if it doesn’t fit into our schedules for a few weeks.
- Download a couples app – Here is a good one that can be useful whether you are in long distance or not. Here is a list from Lifehack with some nice apps for couples.
- Have something to look forward to all the time – This can be your next visit, a surprise package in the mail or your future goals. It’s important to keep things exciting because if you aren’t seeing each other a lot, or having that intimate contact, it can be easy to get bored.
- Make the most of the time when you ARE together – Seriously treasure every moment. Every kiss, every cuddle, every conversation you can have face to face or an activity you do together such as cooking a nice meal.
- Keep yourself occupied – Theres nothing worse than just sitting there, thinking of how much you miss your partner. Keep yourself busy with work, hobbies, friends and family, as well as personal development. Make the most of this time apart to work on yourself, get to know who you really are and what you want out of life, and achieve your goals while you have the spare time.
- Go on special dates together – When each of you do make a visit to the other person, make it extra special by going on dates together which makes the visit more memorable. You can do things you have never done before to keep things interesting. I keep a physical list so I never run out of ideas, here are some examples:
- Visit a mineral hot spring
- Going out for dinner
- Bungey Jumping
- Rock Climbing
- An at-home spa night where you give each other massages
- Stay in a hotel
- Visit a new town together
- Go tramping
- Have a picnic
- Make a romantic dinner for each other with candles and music
- Visit a winery
- Go snowboarding or skiing
- Go to the mall and treat each other to a new outfit
- Ride a rollercoaster
- Go berry picking
And last but not least: Work on closing the gap of long distance – When is it going to end? You can’t go on like this forever, one of you will need to make a sacrifice so you can live in the same country or city. One of you may have to quit your job to get a new one that is closer to your partner, or give up something important eventually. But make some kind of plan of what to do next, who will move where, or will you both move to a completely new place? If you have an idea of when you will finally be able to live together, it is easier to stick together through the duration you are apart.
I hope this helped you in many ways! If you have any questions, or would like to add your own tips, leave a reply in the comment section ♥
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